Yes, this is all true. I used to feel just like this and I did all of that horrible stuff. I regret my actions constantly, but I try not to dwell on the past.
I'm still trying desperately to get myself out of this horrible lifestyle that I created. Sometimes I get depressed or I might push someone away, but I am learning to trust people and tell them what's going on with me.
I want this to be an inspiration to others who feel that there is no point in living or there is no hope. I hope that you like this and that it helps you in some way.